Bring your whole self to work—or not.
As a recruiter, I’ve heard the phrase “bring your whole self to work” more times than I can count—and I might even have used it myself in a job ad or two.
But personally, I’ve never really been able to do that. There were always parts of me I kept to myself, tucked away “at home”—even when I was working from my living room.
I didn’t feel chill and productive in a bright office, and the constant pressure to make my work visible and showcase my impact felt like a job all on its own.
I’ve lost track of how many times I was told to “speak up more in meetings” or sat through a performance review where someone suggested I should join more Friday drinks.
I get that those suggestions come from a good place, but that’s not what “bringing my whole self to work” means to me. That’s pretending I’m someone I’m not. It’s a big effort, over and over again.
My work never suffered because I’m introverted. I did. And while I could deal with the headaches and the pockets of anxiety, I don’t want other people to “push through”—especially if they’re dealing with much more.
If we can’t make room for this—for understanding that people show up in different ways and need a space that’s comfortable for them—how are we ever going to handle the bigger, systemic issues around inclusion?
This is what pushed me to build a business rooted in comfort and authenticity. Because while I’d love to believe that companies will change their policies and truly become inclusive, I think we might have to put up with the performative phrases a little longer.
If you don’t feel like you belong at work, know you’re not alone. And if you want to work on building your resilience and setting boundaries, while we advocate for better workplaces, I’m here for that. We all deserve a work environment that feels safe and brings out the best in us.
about the author:
Hi there! I'm Silja, the founder of the wholesome growth club, an inclusive hub for career coaching with a soft spot for introverts and perfectionists. I’m an Amsterdam-based expat, but I love connecting with people worldwide. With a background in recruiting, I know the struggle of crafting a career path that feels truly yours. At the wholesome growth club, we're all about fostering sustainable growth, meaningful engagement, and authentic connections. Our blog is dedicated to making coaching accessible and sharing insights to approach work and life with an extra dose of confidence, slow productivity, and self-compassion. If you are curious to make things happen for yourself, get in touch—we offer personalized coaching journeys that will get you closer to your (dreamy) goals in no time.
